E.R. Visit

"All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart."

o   Tahereh Mafi

I was able to experience a Saudi hospital a few days ago, what an experience that was! It wasn't anything serious, I was just taking a precaution. Around 3 pm on Wednesday, I started having really sharp pain in my stomach. I didn't know what it was but it kept coming back, giving me little breaks in between. My appetite left me and I didn't eat anything all day other than some oatmeal. This was a red flag to me because I'm always eating. Some more details of my ailment can be left out but after a while, the pain got much worse and I started feeling dizzy and weak. I thought to myself, "I don't want to die in Saudi." That was obviously dramatic, but I always see the worst thing that could happen flash through my head. For example, every time I walk down a flight of stairs, I imagine how painful it would be to fall down them.

Badr fed me some fresh cumin tea (which is just boiled cumin) and it was disgusting. We tried a hot bath. We tried sugar free Sprite. Nothing. So at midnight I gave in thinking, "I'm sick of this pain!" and we left for the E.R. 

First of all, getting into the emergency room is like a maze at Al Habib Hospital. You walk in and there are signs "Adults this way, Kids this way". We found the place you check in and there was nowhere to sit; they had no waiting area! I was dizzy and thinking how I might just pass out if they didn't hurry up and give us a bed. They finally showed us to a bed. All the beds are divided by curtains, no such thing as private rooms like I'm used to. And, the maintenance guys were cleaning the floor right beside my curtained in room. The machine was so loud and the chemical smell was so strong. 

It took a long time for the nurse to just come in and get the story, and take my blood pressure. The little kid in the curtain room next to me kept walking up against the curtain and hitting it; I was ready for him to crawl under and enter our area, but he didn't. When the doctor finally came in, he got my symptoms and everything. I wasn't completely sure he was listening. This concern was confirmed later. He asked about my symptoms and I started, "Well the pain isn't constant, it comes and goes. It feels very sharp..." About a minute later, he started firing off questions: "Is the pain constant? What does it feel like?" 

He left and a different nurse then I had seen came in. She asked us, "Are you the one getting the shot?" I'm thinking, "I have no idea, shouldn't you know??" That made me a bit uneasy. Then my nurse came in for the I.V. and meds for pain and nausea. 

We waited for the doctor to come back; it seemed like forever. We had a real life soap opera acting out for us a couple curtains over, too bad we couldn't see it. The guy was basically shouting. I wonder if he knew it was 3 am and the emergency room was a place you sit down and be quiet? Guess not.

The doctor came in later, asked if I was better, and told us we were free to go and he prescribed us some meds. Never told me what I had or what medicine he prescribed. At least I'm a nurse and know what they are for and how to take them! What a day.

Updates

        "You live but once; you might as well be amusing."

o   Coco Chanel

          Not a lot going on these past few days on the Alasem frontier. It is Eid this week, so Badr and I have a week off of work. I love it, since my job is somewhat of a bore. But, thank God for my job because if I had to sit at the apartment all day by myself doing nothing, I would go crazy.
           We went to Dairy Queen today, which was an experience. In Saudi, there are "Men Sections" and "Family Sections" in restaurants (I know, DQ isn't really a restaurant). Family sections are basically a nice way of saying, "Hey women, this is where you can go." I honestly feel like I'm in the time when the "separate but equal" stuff was going on in the States with black people and white people. In this case, I'm the one being discriminated against.
           Badr was with me and we had to go to the back of DQ. I'm not joking, the men's section was the front door and families (any group including a woman) had to use the BACK DOOR. And the restaurant is divided into 2 levels, so Badr and I walked up a flight of stairs and ordered our food on the second level. The men's sections is the bottom floor and you use the front door to enter.
            Tomorrow we are planning on going shopping for more decor for the apartment (which I'm excited about!) and then on Thursday we are going to Thadiq, a small village that Badr's grandparents used to live in.

This was in the States at the Gentry Safari. 

How to Survive a Foreign Country

"Enjoy your life, no matter how hard it may seem, when life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, show the world you have a million reasons to smile."

So far, I am a learning machine. In the past 3 months, many experiences have led me to adjust the way I look at things and relax a little. I have definitely had undesirable moments of anger, frustration, and sadness, and I’ll probably have more. While living in Saudi can be hard at times, I feel much more comfortable now and enjoy it more everyday. Here are some things I think are important:

1.     Honesty. Once I was asked, “Do you like it more here or in America?” Obviously, I like it more in America and that is a weird question. I felt that I had to be honest. If I said, I love it here and then I down played America, I would be lessening the greatness of my own country. I won’t lessen my love for America because I think it might make someone like me more. So I simply said, “America.”

2.     Be positive. I guess I was very cranky for a few weeks at my job when it got to be stressful. A coworker asked me, “Are you happy here?” That took me back a bit. I thought, “How am I being perceived here? I don’t want people to think I’m a complainer!” I immediately straightened up my act. I’m happy to have a job and not sit at home all day. This is my life and my choice and I’m going to own it. Lately, we’ve been having a great time at work; lots of laughter and fun. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.

3.     Be tough. Things cannot easily affect you. Maybe you feel lonely. Maybe you miss grass (seriously). Maybe when you see pictures of your friends and family you know you are missing out on precious moments and memories. But the way I see it, your heart is still beating. Get your big kid undies on and toughen up. 

4.     Be aggressive. This applies for two different situations. The first way you need to be aggressive is with your friends; text and skype are your favorite thing. Friends who are busy might be distracted from important things, like having me in Saudi Arabia!!! I don’t want my friends to forget about me, so I try to text them a lot! Or at least on a regular basis. I’m not so worried about my family, they’re strapped to me for life J Aggressively schedule your time during home visits to ensure you can see all the jewels in your life at least once.

Also, be aggressive with the language. You can’t passively learn a new language and PEOPLE EVERYWHERE SPEAK ENGLISH. I am constantly asking what does this mean, can I use it in this context, how do you pronounce this? It’s embarrassing speaking Arabic when you’re not that good, but push through the pain!

5.     Forgive. You will naturally be left out of things, of conversations, of plans, of jokes, and it’s ok. People speak in Arabic in front of you and forget you’re left out. It isn’t their fault; they are just speaking in their first language!

6.     Be a learner. You will learn so much, and it is very good for you. People will want you to know about their cultural traditions and customs. They’ll want you to try the food and show you around the town. Being a learner is one of the easier things and it doubles as being helpful to understand why people act and live the way they do.

7.     Be brave. I do so many things that are unfamiliar and make me nervous. I went to an embassy meeting alone, and I knew no one there! I went to a bachelorette party alone, having no idea what to expect. I went to a wedding where I was stared at the whole time. It will be ok. Trust yourself and don’t be afraid to be alone in a room full of unfamiliar faces. It feels weird, and you might sweat a lot, but you will be fine. Just wear deodorant.

8.     Patience. Be patient with the language; it may not make sense at all, but it will eventually. My difficulty is being patient with myself when I feel like I should be learning Arabic faster. Grit your teeth and push through.

9.     Be laid back. This is the most difficult for me!!! Traditions are different. Here, people eat dinner around 9 pm. Yes, dinner. You’re hungry? Try to think of different things…or sneak a snack. You will certainly live. The last thing you want to do is appear to be needy or try to make them change their whole routine. Just shut up and smile.

Another thing you have to be laid back about is nosy people. I get asked personal questions at work all the time, from coworkers and patients. What’s your religion? Where are you from? Why are you here? Do you like it here? Are you married? Do you miss home? Do you have kids? (from coworkers: how much do you get paid? When will you have kids?) Some might think it’s rude. I suppose it depends on who is asking and how well you know them. I think they feel it’s ok because I look different. Patients do not ask the Saudi physical therapists questions like that EVER!

10. Remember. Why do you live where you do? I live here for my husband, and he is worth everything. When I want to have a bad attitude, I try and tell myself that it is for Badr and he is worth it. 

Bachelorette Party

            

·      "You’re never too old to be young"

-  Snow White

            One of the receptionists at work is getting married soon, and so another girl I work with threw a party for her. I was invited and boy, was it an experience. I didn’t know how a bachelorette party would be without Dickson Street or alcohol or dirty gifts, but it was a blast.

            The first thing I wondered was what I should wear. I would know how to dress for one in the States, but girls are more conservative here. I was going to pick a fairly conservative dress, until Hussban (the girl throwing the party) basically told me it wasn’t sexy enough. So I went with a shorter dress.

            I was told to arrive at 6 pm because it was a big surprise and the bride was coming at 7 pm. I’m basically a sucker; no one is on time here! So I showed up 5 minutes early, and of course, I was the first one there. I know Hussban’s two sisters, so the four of us hung out until more guests arrive. Hussban was wearing a gold top, a black denim mini skirt, black tights and converse. One of her sisters was wearing a cut off t-shirt, purple shorts, and blue high heels. The other sister was wearing a cocktail dress and heels. I was curious to see everyone else’s attire.

            The party was in the front guest room because obviously Hussban’s dad can’t see any of us dressed like that. Saudi guest rooms are traditionally filled with couches and chairs all along the walls, so there wasn’t a ton of room for dancing for all 15 or 20 of us!

            Other girls started to show up wearing cocktail dresses appropriate for Dickson street, it was shocking for me! We talked and set up for the party. I noticed there were a bunch of non-alcoholic beers for us to drink, but I stuck to the non-alcoholic cocktail drinks.

            The bride showed up at 7:30 pm and that was when the party started. We slapped a veil on her and we all started dancing to American rap music! It was hilarious! The lights went out, the big speakers were blaring, a strobe light was going, and those laser beam lights were flying around. Plus, we each had like 4 glow stick bracelets on our arms. I felt like I was at a night club! AND these girls know how to dance! It was impressive. Once or twice I was thrown in the middle, reason being I was from America (which obviously meant I was a good dancer, in their opinions). They liked my moves!

Next thing I knew, someone had a cardboard box on their head with 2 eyes cut out. The unspoken rule was whoever had it one their head had to dance in the middle of the dance circle. I got it a couple times and didn’t shy away from the challenge.

            I kept taking breaks to eat snacks because they had about 6 different kinds of chips, which I loved. They also had a chocolate fountain, macaroons, popcorn, and trail mix. I love eating.

            After dancing for probably 2 hours, we played a game. They put on the song “Shots” by LMFAO and girls took turns racing to see who could finish a full bottle of non-alcoholic beer in numerous shot glasses. Then we played a game where we divided into two groups and each had a bag of mystery food. The goal was to eat it all as fast as possible. It was funny. I got a giant piece of frozen carrot.

            I was stuffed full of junk food when I realized Hussban had brought out pizza, sliders, and some different Arabic food snacks. So I continued to eat. Dance. Eat. Dance. Eat.

            The next thing that happened was Egyptian dancing. They put on the skirts with tassels and sequins and started shaking it. I put one on at one point and it was really funny.

            Then they brought out the cake, which was very fancy. It had a wedding dress on the top, and the bottom was covered in stripes of white and pink fondant. It even had Yasmine’s name in fondant wrapped around the cake. We didn’t even eat it because everyone was too busy dancing and taking pictures. Hussban ended up bringing it to work. I left at 11 pm and the party was still going.

            Before I left, I asked if I could bring 1 macaroon for Badr. Hussban packed up 2 on a plate and then her mom insisted on me bringing Arabic coffee too. She also offered giving him a plate of the Arabic food and said we should come over sometime. They are such a nice family.

U.S. Embassy Town Hall Meeting

    "You live but once; you might as well be amusing."

-Coco Chanel

            So this evening proved very interesting, and let me step outside my comfort zone yet again. Badr drove me to the embassy, but only Americans could go to the meeting, so I was on my own!

            When we went to the grounds, we drove through 2 different check points with guards holding guns who asked us questions about our purpose. We drove past several embassies; the Italian Embassy, the Iranian Embassy, and even the Algerian Embassy. The embassy is heavily secured.

            We parked our car and Badr walked me to a building that had an American flag flying. I saw a very familiar sight once we approached the building, women who were not covered by a veil or an abiya! And that’s when Badr left and I stood in line alone. Badr’s friend Fawaz, who is both American and Saudi, was supposed to be coming later so I hoped he would show up quick!

            We had to hand in our passports so they could check our name off the list. They took our cell phones and we were required to walk through a metal detector. If that went well, you were free to walk into the U.S. Embassy building.

            I walked in and saw a long table filled with some of my favorites: cookies, brownies, American flag cake, and Coca Cola. Everyone in the room seemed like they knew eachother, and I had no one to talk to. Thankfully, after I got my plate of sugars, a nice man started a conversation with me. He was an American obviously, of Chinese decent. I met his 10-year-old daughter too. He assumed I was a teacher, because most of the women here are. When I revealed that I am a nurse, he said I was probably the first one!

            We talked for a long time and then I sat down with his daughter. We talked about all sorts of things like Disney World and our shared passion for sweets. I kept looking for Fawaz and he still wasn’t there! After about an hour, the meeting started. I saw Fawaz stick his head in the door, and then promptly disappear. So I stayed where I was and listened to the meeting.

            The people running the event talked about a few different issues like safety here in Saudi and our rights. Then they were open for questions. This was interesting. People gave advice, people complained about issues they’ve had here, and some actually had questions. The advice I caught was keep a low profile and don’t oppose the religious police.

            I quite enjoyed it. There was a sense of belonging. For the first time in a while, I felt like I was with people who knew exactly how I feel. They understand the difficulties and hardships we face sometimes. We would laugh together at things we had all encountered individually. It was great.

            At the end of the meeting, Fawaz showed up and said he thought the room was completely full. He was in the overflow room that I didn’t even realize existed. We grabbed some brochures about things Americans can get involved in and then we left. Then it was back to Saudi for me. I put on my abiya, my veil, and received my phone from security. Time to go home to my husband.