So far, I am a learning machine. In the past 3 months, many
experiences have led me to adjust the way I look at things and relax a little.
I have definitely had undesirable moments of anger, frustration, and sadness,
and I’ll probably have more. While living in Saudi can be hard at times, I feel
much more comfortable now and enjoy it more everyday. Here are some things I
think are important:
1.
Honesty. Once I was asked, “Do you like it more
here or in America?” Obviously, I like it more in America and that is a weird
question. I felt that I had to be honest. If I said, I love it here and then I down
played America, I would be lessening the greatness of my own country. I won’t
lessen my love for America because I think it might make someone like me more.
So I simply said, “America.”
2.
Be positive. I guess I was very cranky for a few
weeks at my job when it got to be stressful. A coworker asked me, “Are you
happy here?” That took me back a bit. I thought, “How am I being perceived
here? I don’t want people to think I’m a complainer!” I immediately
straightened up my act. I’m happy to have a job and not sit at home all day. This
is my life and my choice and I’m going to own it. Lately, we’ve been having a
great time at work; lots of laughter and fun. Life does not have to be perfect
to be wonderful.
3.
Be tough. Things cannot easily affect you. Maybe
you feel lonely. Maybe you miss grass (seriously). Maybe when you see pictures of your
friends and family you know you are missing out on precious moments and
memories. But the way I see it, your heart is still beating. Get your big kid
undies on and toughen up.
4.
Be aggressive. This applies for two different
situations. The first way you need to be aggressive is with your friends; text
and skype are your favorite thing. Friends who are busy might be distracted from
important things, like having me in Saudi Arabia!!! I don’t want my
friends to forget about me, so I try to text them a lot! Or at least on a
regular basis. I’m not so worried about my family, they’re strapped to me for
life J
Aggressively schedule your time during home visits to ensure you can see all
the jewels in your life at least once.
Also, be aggressive with the language. You can’t passively learn a new
language and PEOPLE EVERYWHERE SPEAK ENGLISH. I am constantly asking what does
this mean, can I use it in this context, how do you pronounce this? It’s
embarrassing speaking Arabic when you’re not that good, but push through the
pain!
5.
Forgive. You will naturally be left out of
things, of conversations, of plans, of jokes, and it’s ok. People speak in
Arabic in front of you and forget you’re left out. It isn’t their fault; they
are just speaking in their first language!
6.
Be a learner. You will learn so much, and it is
very good for you. People will want you to know about their cultural traditions
and customs. They’ll want you to try the food and show you around the town.
Being a learner is one of the easier things and it doubles as being helpful to
understand why people act and live the way they do.
7.
Be brave. I do so many things that are
unfamiliar and make me nervous. I went to an embassy meeting alone, and I knew
no one there! I went to a bachelorette party alone, having no idea what to
expect. I went to a wedding where I was stared at the whole time. It will be
ok. Trust yourself and don’t be afraid to be alone in a room full of unfamiliar
faces. It feels weird, and you might sweat a lot, but you will be fine. Just wear deodorant.
8.
Patience. Be patient with the language; it may
not make sense at all, but it will eventually. My difficulty is being patient
with myself when I feel like I should be learning Arabic faster. Grit your
teeth and push through.
9.
Be laid back. This is the most difficult for
me!!! Traditions are different. Here, people eat dinner around 9 pm. Yes,
dinner. You’re hungry? Try to think of different things…or sneak a snack. You
will certainly live. The last thing you want to do is appear to be needy or try
to make them change their whole routine. Just shut up and smile.
Another thing you have to be laid back about is nosy people. I get asked
personal questions at work all the time, from coworkers and patients. What’s
your religion? Where are you from? Why are you here? Do you like it here? Are
you married? Do you miss home? Do you have kids? (from coworkers: how much do
you get paid? When will you have kids?) Some might think it’s rude. I suppose
it depends on who is asking and how well you know them. I think they feel it’s
ok because I look different. Patients do not ask the Saudi physical therapists
questions like that EVER!
10. Remember.
Why do you live where you do? I live here for my husband, and he is worth
everything. When I want to have a bad attitude, I try and tell myself that it is for Badr and he is worth it.
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