Friday, October 11, 2013

How to Survive a Foreign Country

"Enjoy your life, no matter how hard it may seem, when life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, show the world you have a million reasons to smile."


So far, I am a learning machine. In the past 3 months, many experiences have led me to adjust the way I look at things and relax a little. I have definitely had undesirable moments of anger, frustration, and sadness, and I’ll probably have more. While living in Saudi can be hard at times, I feel much more comfortable now and enjoy it more everyday. Here are some things I think are important:
1.     Honesty. Once I was asked, “Do you like it more here or in America?” Obviously, I like it more in America and that is a weird question. I felt that I had to be honest. If I said, I love it here and then I down played America, I would be lessening the greatness of my own country. I won’t lessen my love for America because I think it might make someone like me more. So I simply said, “America.”
2.     Be positive. I guess I was very cranky for a few weeks at my job when it got to be stressful. A coworker asked me, “Are you happy here?” That took me back a bit. I thought, “How am I being perceived here? I don’t want people to think I’m a complainer!” I immediately straightened up my act. I’m happy to have a job and not sit at home all day. This is my life and my choice and I’m going to own it. Lately, we’ve been having a great time at work; lots of laughter and fun. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
3.     Be tough. Things cannot easily affect you. Maybe you feel lonely. Maybe you miss grass (seriously). Maybe when you see pictures of your friends and family you know you are missing out on precious moments and memories. But the way I see it, your heart is still beating. Get your big kid undies on and toughen up. 
4.     Be aggressive. This applies for two different situations. The first way you need to be aggressive is with your friends; text and skype are your favorite thing. Friends who are busy might be distracted from important things, like having me in Saudi Arabia!!! I don’t want my friends to forget about me, so I try to text them a lot! Or at least on a regular basis. I’m not so worried about my family, they’re strapped to me for life J Aggressively schedule your time during home visits to ensure you can see all the jewels in your life at least once.
Also, be aggressive with the language. You can’t passively learn a new language and PEOPLE EVERYWHERE SPEAK ENGLISH. I am constantly asking what does this mean, can I use it in this context, how do you pronounce this? It’s embarrassing speaking Arabic when you’re not that good, but push through the pain!
5.     Forgive. You will naturally be left out of things, of conversations, of plans, of jokes, and it’s ok. People speak in Arabic in front of you and forget you’re left out. It isn’t their fault; they are just speaking in their first language!
6.     Be a learner. You will learn so much, and it is very good for you. People will want you to know about their cultural traditions and customs. They’ll want you to try the food and show you around the town. Being a learner is one of the easier things and it doubles as being helpful to understand why people act and live the way they do.
7.     Be brave. I do so many things that are unfamiliar and make me nervous. I went to an embassy meeting alone, and I knew no one there! I went to a bachelorette party alone, having no idea what to expect. I went to a wedding where I was stared at the whole time. It will be ok. Trust yourself and don’t be afraid to be alone in a room full of unfamiliar faces. It feels weird, and you might sweat a lot, but you will be fine. Just wear deodorant.
8.     Patience. Be patient with the language; it may not make sense at all, but it will eventually. My difficulty is being patient with myself when I feel like I should be learning Arabic faster. Grit your teeth and push through.
9.     Be laid back. This is the most difficult for me!!! Traditions are different. Here, people eat dinner around 9 pm. Yes, dinner. You’re hungry? Try to think of different things…or sneak a snack. You will certainly live. The last thing you want to do is appear to be needy or try to make them change their whole routine. Just shut up and smile.
Another thing you have to be laid back about is nosy people. I get asked personal questions at work all the time, from coworkers and patients. What’s your religion? Where are you from? Why are you here? Do you like it here? Are you married? Do you miss home? Do you have kids? (from coworkers: how much do you get paid? When will you have kids?) Some might think it’s rude. I suppose it depends on who is asking and how well you know them. I think they feel it’s ok because I look different. Patients do not ask the Saudi physical therapists questions like that EVER!
10. Remember. Why do you live where you do? I live here for my husband, and he is worth everything. When I want to have a bad attitude, I try and tell myself that it is for Badr and he is worth it. 

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